


Passing Storms

by knuddelpuddel



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ...eventually gotta get that, Angst, Big bro Shiro, Hurt/Comfort, Langst, M/M, Possibly Slow Burn, Space Dad Shiro, klangst, no beta we die like men, supportive team, who knows idk even
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-04 18:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15153467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knuddelpuddel/pseuds/knuddelpuddel
Summary: Lance had died, and it had taken it's toll on him. He had cheated death, and now he felt like a mere memory of what he used to be. He was falling and drowning and burning all at once. And yet that was just a fraction of the pain that was to come.OrThe consequences of Lance's death/revival. With all of the paladin's issues wrapped in one cause as much as I love my langst, I felt the need to add them too. Mostly Lance and Kieth centric.





	1. Chapter 1

Lance had always been somewhat afraid of storms. Not a terror inducing fear but more of like a lurking anxiety of what storms meant. The improbable possibility that whatever shelter you were in would fail. Looking back on it he knew it was absurd. But that didn't stop his lungs from clenching and the unmistakable flinches at ecry strike of lightning. It was almost comical that now as a paladin, with countless horrors filling each day, he was still afraid of those flashes of light and unsettling patter of rain. Things were different and now Lance almost craved that tight feeling of anxiety brought on not by his poisoned mind and endless insecurities.   
His Abuela would always tell him to be careful of what he wished for. That karma had a way of granting you those things in ways you would forever regret. It was those words and his Abuela's crinkled face that we're that last thoughts Lance knew before his life snuffed out. The blast, ironically resembling lighting back on Earth had made quick work of Lance, killing him horrendously and painfully, but moderately quickly. He knew it was for the best, here he'd die, protecting the people he loved most who he believed had loved him at one point in time. That time may not have been now, but he knew they did even if in passing.   
But then it wasn't over. The pain that had slipped into the blissful release of the void returned, his body burning in agony. Blue light littered the air around him, a faint glow of pink, white, white like the clouds of Earth, and the red light refracting off every reflecting surface filled his vision. He didn't remember much after that, maybe his body had went into shock and carried him the rest of the way as if on autopilot. But he did know one thing. That he had died. Died as in heart stopped, body shut down, saw the abyss.And as he stood between the other paladins now, feeling as though he was a mere fragment of what he used to be, he dreaded the idea that maybe he was supposed to die that day. That he had cheated death, and he had a lurking suspicion that whatever awaited him was worse. 

 

“They saw that you were broken. Worthless. I should have seen it too.”  
“And I should have abandoned you. Just like your parents did”.  
Keith knew those were the words of the clone, not Shiro. That’s what he had been repeating to himself when those words were the only ones he could hear. They hounded his brain, grasped it like a vice. But it sounded like Shiro, looked like Shiro, and deep down he knew those words carried truth. Logically, with his mother found, her past explained, he knew she didn’t leave for those reasons. That didn’t lessen the sting, didn’t stop the him from believing them. Broken. Worthless. If growing up an orphan wasn’t bad enough, now when he had finally found a family he thought he belonged in, he discovered he was part alien. Part of the enemy, and he knew that he would always be an outcast. Even if it was just apprehensive glances. So he threw his walls up, forever the stoic soldier. 

 

Lance couldn’t explain what is was to feel unwhole. He knew he was missing something. But what that something was he couldn’t place. It was like a phantom pain, he knew it wasn’t there but he longed for it nonetheless. The paladins would gather on planets, pit stops on their road trip through space, and huddle around a fire. Swapping stories, laughing, and excited about their return home. It was at these times that Lance never felt more alone. More out of place. He felt like an imposter, Lance knew he wasn’t, knew he belonged here, knew that these were his friends - his family. But there was a poison leaking from the recesses of his mind. Even Red was acting odd, her emergency lights still glowing despite her now being in perfect condition.   
“Lance?” A voice broken him from his reverie.   
“Hm?” His head shot up, looking around to pinpoint the voice.   
“We were just talking about going back and I know how important your family is to you so I thought you’d be excited.” Hunk supplied, a reassuring smile gracing his face as if he knew something was wrong.  
“Oh yeah!” Lance plastered on a smile, going on to babble about the wonders of the McClain family. Despite the smile being fake, he did start to feel better at the memories of his family, no matter how bittersweet some of them may have been.   
He told himself he’d get better with time, that this feeling was probably just a side effect of dying, and soon he’d feel whole again. People started to turn in, a long day of flying awaiting them the next day. Lance would always leave last, not wanting the others to know that he didn't return to his lion when the light faded, and insead found a home on the cold ground of the planet, the stars glimmering above him. He discovered the last few days that waking in Red with her emergency lights on would send him into a panic, too reminiscent of when he woke up from death. And so he would stay out here, where every sound kept him on edge, and he knew that inevitably he would never find the lull of sleep. The PTSD they had all gathered in this war was sometimes enough to keep them awake even in the safety of their lions, so out here Lance kept a tight grip on his bayard as if it was the only thing holding him to this life.

 

Keith awoke in a fright, sweat clinging to his chest, his breathing uneven and choppy. It was always the same one since that night, a possessed Shiro, a fall to what he was convinced was his death. He slipped from his makeshift bed, trying not to wake Krolia before slipping to stare at Shiro’s pod. He had been in stasis since that night, about 24 quintents ago. It was unnerving to see his brother there, contained, illuminated by the sickly light that flooded the pods. He carded a hand through his unkempt hair, attempting to calm his breathing. It was getting harder and harder to convince himself to go to sleep, as he knew what awaited him every night. Throwing one last glance at his brother, he was met with brown eyes staring back at him.   
“Shiro!” and other unintelligible shouts were heard from Keith as he rushed over to the pod, frantically thumbing buttons to force the pod to open. A weak smile graced Shiro’s face at his brother’s reaction, eventually getting up when the glass finally slid open. Keith stood there, immovable, an sea of emotion trapped behind his violet eyes.   
“I rise from the dead and I don’t even get a hug?” Shiro laughed.   
A broken cry rose from Keith as he launched himself with more force than was probably called for but Keith didn’t care. Because Shiro was here, and alive, and okay enough to laugh. And for the first time in a long time Keith was okay, here in his brothers arms. Even if he did only have one. 

 

Lance registered the shouts in the distance, he had just deemed that he didn’t really care. It was probably just another one of the nightmares that every paladin inevitably had, as they were all just kids in a ruthless war filled with torture and genocide. So he lay there, staring blindly up at the unfamiliar stars, not noticing when the lions opened, and people rushed out in a frenzy. Because Lance was drowning, and he felt numb, and he was tethered to this earth unwillingly. For the life of him he couldn’t remember what had saved him, what had forced his soul back to inhabit this body, but he decided to hate it. As the longer he stayed here, the longer he longed to leave. All he could remember were the blur of colors he couldn’t place. And so he hated those too. 

 

As Keith rushed out of the ship in a flurry, ready to awake the others upon the awakening of Shiro, he realized he wasn’t the only one out here. The was a figure curled on the ground, still in their paladin armor, gazing at the stars blankly. Keith hesitated in his quest, before resuming to run toward the blue lion, finding his brothers return more important than what was probably just another escape from a paladin nightmare.   
When each member of their rag tag team was assembled by Keith’s strange bout of excitement, Keith made the reveal. Shiro walking slow but as powerful as ever out of the ship. Chaos erupted from the gathered, tears and smiles graced almost all their faces, hugs and questions being thrown around haphazardly. Keith stood by his brother, unable to stop smiling since his brother first opened his eyes. He was, however, concerned by the sad twinge in his brothers face as he greeted the group. But brushed it off in favor of reshiling in the happiness of his return.

Lance eventually roused himself from his place on the ground when the shouts evolved to excited screams and sobs. He meandered over to the source of the commotion when he was greeted with side profile of their resurrected leader. A fond smile reached Lance’s features. The words the clone had use to strike Lance had stung, but he was hopeful that the old Shiro would go back to being the Space Dad that was now a mere memory. When Shiro’s brown eyes finally met Lance’s blue ones, Shiro’s already ashen skin drained from the remaining of its color. His eyes widening in surprise? Fear? But it was the words that left his mouth next that froze Lance in his tracks,   
“You're not supposed to be here”.


	2. One Hell of a Nap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the tone here def shifts from the usual angst but do not fret next chapter is angsty hell so enjoy this while you can

Those five words could mean so many things. And in the silence that followed Shiro’s comment, Lance had thought of all of them. Each possibility was worse than the next, and had Lance curling into himself. The sadness that had simmered under Shiro’s eyes had turned into a mix of confusion and fear. 

“You died.” Shiro whispered, as if saying those words any louder would send Lance back to the grip of death. 

“Kettle. Black.” Lance deadpanned, too tired physically and emotionally to refute his words. The whole group seemed to hold their breath, eyes wide with concern and confusion. Before anyone could speak up Lance scoffed, “I mean I’m not even so sure it happened, one second I was gone and the next I was back. Could have been like an insane blackout or some sort of galra shit. Who knows.”

“You did die Lance. I brought you back.” Allura added quietly. “There was enough quintessence in the airfield around you to piece back your soul and replace some parts and give it back to you.” 

“You did what?” Lance said with more malice than anyone thought him capable of. He turned to face Allura with pure hatred burning in his eyes. “It was you.” Lance clenched his fists, yelling, “What made you think I wanted to come back?!”. Allura’s eyes widened, fear and hurt flashing across her features. “You just admitted to replacing parts of my soul Allura. Take a moment to process what you just said. In what galaxy did you think that was a good idea? Do you know what it feels like to be only a part of a person? A part of who you were? Know how it feels to want something to crave something, yet you have no idea what?”. Voice cracking he continued, “You should have left me there. I would have died a hero. I would have died me.”

“I didn’t know” Allura stammered. “I was just trying to help”. Her voice on the verge of cracking, tears sparkling in her eyes.

Lance’s hard face cracked at Allura’s comment, his voice softening, “I know Allura, you just wanted to save me. I get it. Really. Sorry for snapping at you, don’t know what came over me.” He chuckled, his persona so different from the rage moments before. 

“Alright, I gotta take a whiz, i’ll be back in a jiffy.” Lance quickly rattled in order to escape the situation, hoping his absence would ease some tension. And honestly he didn’t know if he could be around the rest of them. He was embarrassed about admitting such a moment of vulnerability, worried what the team thought. Allura though, he had no idea what to think. Rationally he knew she meant it out of the goodness of her too pure heart, but that couldn’t erase the fact that what she did might not have been the right choice. His head was killing him with his thoughts conflicting, the white noise ringing in his ears becoming louder every tick passed. His brisk pace though the forest soon turned to a full run, some part of Lance hoping he could just run away. Only when the burn in his legs and the ache in his lungs caught up to him did Lance come to a stop. Clutching a tree, he let the tears he had been holding in for so long trek down his cheeks. He felt so small out here in this unknown forest, under these unknown stars, on a planet whose name he couldn’t remember. So insignificant, a speck of stardust in the universe filled with planets. And so he cried. Cried for all the times he wanted to, felt the need to, but didn’t. He cried for his family, for the people stuck in this terrible war, for his family here with voltron - most of which too young to have to deal with this bloodshed. And he cried for himself, for the part of him that didn’t make it, and the part of him that did. Utter exhaustion compelled him to collapse on the forest floor. Sticks, rocks, and the knowledge the team was waiting for him compelled him to move. And yet he stayed. Stayed on the damp foliage until sleep claimed him. 

The team had found Lance collapsed, slumped lifelessly near a tree, completely unresponsive. Necessity called for them to move on to the next planet, to continue their journey toward Earth. So they carried Lance back to the lions, settling him in Red’s bay, Keith taking over piloting Red, and Shiro, Black. And there he stayed, immovable, unresponsive for the three, four, five, planets they visited next. 

When Lance awoke he felt dizzy. There were too many sounds, too many smells. Groggily he sat up, recognizing Red’s emergency lights and the head of charcoal black hair in her pilot seat. 

“Keith?” Lance croaked, his voice scratchy from sleep. Keith started, body straightening from where he was dozing off before launching himself at the confused blue boy in the bay. 

Without realizing the gesture, Keith placed his hand on Lance’s cheek, while the other brushed the hair from his forehead. “You good buddy?” He said with a small smile, internally laughing at Lance’s confused face. 

“I think?” Lance replied, “That was one hell of a nap. How long was I out?”. 

“Nap!? You were out for nearly 6 quintants.”

Fully sitting himself up Lance glanced at the drip connected to his arm, “That explains why everything seems so weird then I guess. Did you guys didn’t put anything weird into this drip? Cause I feel like I can see more colors than I’m used to.” 

“Funny, Lance. But this really isn’t something to joke about.”

“God, Keith stop yelling, im not joking. Like legitimately man,” Lance paused, trying to gather his thoughts in the onslaught of heightened senses. “Like your eyes are, god, ya know, like this, this, argh!”

“Very eloquent, Lance.” 

“You try explaining a new color! And Keith, I love you man, but could you maybe stop touching me? The whole new heighten senses thing makes your hand feel like fire.”  
Keith withdrew the hand that was still resting on Lance’s cheek with a pained smile and “Ah sorry”. A moment of silence passed before Keith said, “I know she's probably the last person you want to see right now, but Allura is our best bet for figuring out what’s wrong with you right now, and maybe getting you back to normal.”  
Lance’s features hardened for a second before he relented, chucking the drip off his arm and trying to stand. “Probably a good thing to tell the rest of the team that i'm alive anyways. And quiznack I am hungry.” Lance threw a meek smile toward the raven-haired boy. “Could you run ahead and explain the situation? I think If I hear more than one sound at a time right now I might pass out.” 

“You’ll be okay getting out there?”

“I think I can get out of my own lion mullet.”

Keith threw his hands up in a surrender before jogging out of the lion.

 

Keith learned from his time in foster homes that there were generally two main types of touch starved. The more common one, or more talked about, was when they craved touch, sometimes that could only be from people that person trusted or loved, or sometimes it could be from anyone. And then there were the touch repulsed. Where it didn’t matter how much you loved or trusted someone, touching someone, or even being close to someone could burn like acid. Someone could put a hand on Keith’s shoulder and everything they said went over his head because all he could think about was ‘get it off, god please make it stop’. He didn’t know why he shut down like this, many nights were spent reflecting, but with no answer. Some days he was okay with touch, some it was okay as long has he was the one to initiate the contact. He understood what it was like to not want to be touched, so he didn’t understand why Lance’s words affected him so much. It was totally understandable, Lance was having this weird sense problem so he didn’t want to be touched and that was okay. He even said it in a way so Keith wouldn’t take it the wrong way. So why were his words rolling around his head for so long?   
Keith shook his head. Lance needed him, get on task Kogane. He found the rest of the team surrounding the campfire. All seven (eight if you count Cosmo) heads turned to Keith, eyes swimming with curiosity and concern. Then questions shot out of each of their mouths. Shiro, seeing that Keith was becoming overwhelmed increasingly fast, silenced the others with a gesture before gently asking “How’s Lance?”. 

Visibly relieved, Keith relaxed, “He’s awake. But um, there’s something wrong with his senses? So he asked me to tell you guys to basically not talk, or talk one at a time. Also he doesn't wanna be touched right now, and he reported seeing more colors than usual?” Scratching the back of his neck nervously he mumbled “I don’t know if I needed to say that last part”. Keith was saved from himself when the Lance sauntered out of the his lion. 

“I lived BITCH.”

Chuckles were heard from the earthlings and confused faces from the aliens, at Lances reference. Pidge outright laughed, “Yeah I think he’s okay, he’s okay enough to meme.”   
Lance clutched at his head at the sound, gasping out “Okay I know i'm funny but guys, I thought Samurai over here told you about my ears?” 

Lance glanced at the team before out letting out a god awful screech. Eyes glued to Coran he nearly screamed, “Coran what the FUCK. You're hair is supposed to be orange. Fucking orange. What on god’s not green not earth is that?!” 

“Orange? No my boy, my hair is quite the lovely shade of crelx. Oh! Perhaps humans can’t comprehend the full Vlexagane? But then why would you suddenly be able to see it number three?”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i updated! I know right p crazy. Anyways sorry for the sucky conclusion here I just never know where to separate the chapters so were just winging it. Also the keith interlude thing is from my experience/understanding so if there are errors yall can let me know (educate me) (but also its different for everyone so who knows) (makes my url p ironic right?)). I know there are some things i skipped over but I just don't have the patience/attention span to write some parts so were just gonna have to dill with it. Alrighty, until next time dudes.

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty thanks for reading! I'm still generally new at this i'm a big reader not that experienced in the writing department so suggestions and constructive criticisms are appreciated. First time writing for the Voltron fandom so if y'all see any inaccuracies i'd be grateful if you could point them out! 
> 
> Also as you may have noticed it's unbetaed, sorry about that if it's a bother and you guys see some reoccurring problems that impede you're reading ill try to get one. Thank you!
> 
> Imma add more relationships too, I was thinking about shiro/matt or shiro/allura, and hunk/shay? idk we'll see where it goes


End file.
